I dontkno whats happening all of a sudden. Everything's alright, isnt it ? Please tell me nothing's wrong&im still back on track. I dont wanna fall apart again, please. &for the last time, i am not going to some damn psychologist&im telling you, i dont need one. What a laugh, my mom thinks im an actual mental retard. You think i cant handle myself ? Its not like i dont want to, just so everytime we talk, every word you say is linked to me grades&results. Sheesh, cmon gimme a break ! Im so sick of being talked to like i dont give a f*cking damn bout my papers. Look, I DO, aite ? So spare me these shit. I've had enough. You're always thinking that im some juvenile delinquent, OH PLEASE. Take one good look at me. I've been going home&even studying now after the exams. People out thre think im a retard because i mug even after the papers&you'r making me see a psycologist because im doing so ? What the hell'm i supposed to do. You insist that you pick me up after school everyday, fine. I do what you like and refrain from what you dont. Technically speaking, imma normal human being that at least listens to the woman that brought her up. Isn't that good enough ? But i know nothing is. Nothing i do is ever good enough for you. I flunk my papers&you make sure i pass the next time round. I pass them&you make sure i get B's. I got B's&you'd make sure i get A's. If i even made it to A's then you'd make sure they stayed A's. Im so sick&tired of listening to you now, mom. All these while ive been trying to show&explain to you that i care, i care bout my grades. But you never believe me, do you. I've been trying so hard to explain to you that it doesnt matter now if you know or dont. It doesnt. Im tired of explaining. Why should i when you never believe me ? I dont even wanna talk to you now. I dont wanna talk you bout anything- anymore. I've been crying so much my head's throbbing. I've been shaking so much i cant stop. &Joan, its not that i dont wanna reach out for help. Im sick of doing so. &im in no f*cking mood to blog anymore.

After all, whats going on between us ?